Michael's Corner

Daily writing prompt

What time do you go to bed and wake up currently?

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This past year, I have developed what I call, my old man sleep pattern. Doubtless, I have accumulated my share of birthdays, but not enough for the “dreaded” old man pattern. Nevertheless, wherever I happen to be come 10:00p.m., be it in front of the television watching a ballgame, curled up on the sofa reading a book, at a computer screen taking in a podcast, or at a stop light (just kidding), my coconut bobs, my eyes droop shut; the tines of the fork have penetrated my flesh, the night is finito!

Often, at ten, I’ll feel a pointy piece of anatomy called an elbow making unfriendly contact with my ribcage, followed by the threatening verbiage, “If I have to watch this goddamn episode one more time because you’re pretending to be awake…” Next comes the part when I learn what privileges my wife of thirty-plus years plans to deny me. Sheesh! What’s a poor old man gotta do to catch some zees. Doesn’t she know that binge-watching Netflix is the melatonin of the 21st century?

And then it happens; the clock strikes three; my eyes peel open. The old man has arisen. Sleep, at this point, is futile. Even, if possible, she, who earlier deployed her elbow to my ribs, is snoring on the order of a mountain gorilla with a deviated septum. Do I shush her, or nudge her? I do not dare, for although she is the loveliest of the lovely my bride of 32 years, when shushed or nudged, she reacts like a rhinoceros with a thorn in its ass. So off I go, this old man, with only his thoughts and a Knickknack Paddywack, to write a blog or work on a manuscript.

Happy Thursday. I hope you slept well.