Michael's Corner

The Many Iterations of “Self”

We have numerous influences in our lives because we embark on many journeys: professional journeys, musical journeys, love journeys, etc.

Like wide-eyed children, we expose ourselves to the world—its infinite possibilities—which unfailingly delivers experiences that meld with our unique sensibilities and, over time, develops into a life-affirming entity we call “Us.”

I can recall thinking how the depth of consciousness music can bestow upon the human soul changed for me the first time I heard the passacaglia of Dmitri Shostakovich’s Violin Concerto. Those powerful strains took me on a new and lasting journey. John Irving’s “A Prayer for Owen Meany” altered my perception of what a novel is; Mr. Irving’s opus inspired me to pick up a pen and produce such works as “The Bohemian” and “Waiting for Grandfather.”

Perhaps my greatest influence is my bride of thirty-one years, Kathryn. She reached inside my heart and soul and extracted a depth of love that otherwise would have remained dormant.

Lastly, we mustn’t discount our childhood friends, especially those who were rivals and antagonists. They did more than we might remember to help shape (influence) our character.

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If you enjoyed this post, please consider reading my latest essay The Lovers.

Daily writing prompt
Who are the biggest influences in your life?
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Michael DeStefano
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One response to “The Many Iterations of “Self””

  1. abn4eternity Avatar
    abn4eternity

    Interesting how multi-faceted one person can be. Our personalities begin even before we leave the womb and enter the “real” world. We are influenced by the good and the bad experiences of life. Some music causes our souls to soar to unbelievable heights, while others drags us down. Choose the songs that are wind under your wings and soar higher than an eagle.

    I have found the experiences I dislike the most are the ones that shape me the most. The traits my parents and surrounding individuals exhibited and I told myself I would never exhibit are the traits I DO exhibit the most. It takes a lot of soul searching and self reflection to admit my downfalls to myself when everyone around me can see them plain as day. In the end though, we must ask ourselves, “What makes us stronger?” Our enemies can make or break us. Bad experiences and traits can have longer effects upon us than good ones. Pick the ones you want to nourish and lock away the ones you don’t, because like it or not, bad traits and memories never go away.

    There is a saying, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. Another saying that I like though is “There are two wolves in our lives”. One wolf is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego, who will steal everything from us. The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. Which wolf will win? The one you feed.”.

    Hold tight to those in your life that lift you up. Cherish every moment you have with them for life, this existence is finite. Eternity beckons us like a caterpillar struggling to escape it’s cocoon. Let’s try to make the time in our cocoon a happy, memorable, respectful one, so that when we emerge and spread our wings, we may fly high and not plummet back to earth, weighted down by the darkness from before. Shed the old for the new. The unrighteous for the righteous. Cling to the moments and individuals that challenge us to be better, to rise above the mire and accept it when we stumble. Even when we stumble, we can still get up and drive on, all the while working to be a better individual in public as well as in private.

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