Many years ago, alone, I drove from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, to meet my wife, who had flown there days earlier. In Delaware, I merged from I95 onto 495 (Veteran’s Highway), a spur that subtracts several miles from the trip. It was a Saturday night at twilight. I had churned up many miles on 495 when I asked myself the question, “Why am I the only one on the road?” It was an eerie feeling to drive that many miles on an interstate and not encounter another driver. Was I going the right way? Had I unwittingly veered onto the wrong road? All kinds of qualms and questions careened in my head as I sat more erectly while tightening my grip on the steering wheel. And then, when at the pinnacle of my misgiving, I saw the sign for my exit. I let loose a long and languid sigh. Next, I chuckled as if to say, “I knew all along that I was on the right road.” As I merged back onto I95, I chuckled again, this time louder, that I was full of shit.
Unless one is a malignant narcissist, afflicted with confusing arrogance and confidence for intelligence, each of us has had numerous opportunities to utter the phrase, “If only I had trusted my instincts.” More often than not, had we trusted our instincts, we would have been far better off or come out well ahead. What prevents us? Is second-guessing simply a component of human hardware we cannot escape? Has interfacing with a random world bred an army of second-guessers? I, for one, have had plenty of experience tapping into my inner-Thomas when I should have been a zealot, and vice versa.
Each of us is born innocent. Then its “Let the games begin!” We skin our knees and elbows, get some sense knocked into us, and migrate over to “team skeptic,” where the percentages of risk and reward are carefully calculated. Then, after we accrue enough experience and wisdom, we gain what we like to believe are well developed instincts. But then begs the question: do we rely on that enhanced tool or instead listen to the voice in our head that enjoys pointing out pitfalls and consequences? Given that instincts are knowledge-guided impulses, it would seem wise to follow them, to use the handy tool that experience and intelligence helped us to acquire. But we are humans, beings with sketchy motives, who are no less vulnerable on their best day than they are on their worst. So, it’s 50/50 for this humble fellow.
Michael's Corner 
Leave a comment